This week was an incredible week for me in so many ways. As it was happening, and as I had time to reflect on what had happened, it occurred to me that this happening wasn’t an event or series of events at all; it was nothing more that me seeing for the first time what was there all along. I, for the first time, truly experienced the act of surrender – of letting go of orchestrating – taking a breath and taking pause, allowing for all the pieces to come together. And as I did, I had a front row seat to watching my intentions miraculously begin to materialize. Getting to the place of surrender has been a long journey for me, and one in which in many times I was kicking and screaming because, if I wasn’t in charge, who would get it done? I have always been someone who has been hard headed, thinking that my way is the only way, seeing goals and figuring out the path to get there. Knowing that without me, it wouldn’t get done, and that all would fail – much like a house of cards – or so I believed this to be and therefore this became my reality. Feeling the responsibility of all of this on my shoulders – 24/7 was exhausting…Energizer Bunny exhausting, but because of this exhaustion, my resolve was whittled away over the years to the point that I just couldn’t keep it together anymore. As this responsibility fell through my fingertips, without my resolve to graspingly keep it together, there was a moment of pause, followed by my surrender. I had, for the first time in such a long time, let go and let God … and everything changed.
It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher(s) will come. I think that as the role of the student, which is truly what I am, somewhere along the way the lines blurred and I confused myself as the teacher, or the doer, or someone or something in between. I don’t think I’m alone in falling down this rabbit hole. I think I, as so many of us, have been conditioned to do things in a certain way to ensure success and survival – a balance that feels to tenuously teeter from one to another. Some days I felt that I was barely surviving; this, despite the fact that I was following all of the rules. The problem is that I never thought to question those rules, having inherently assumed their rightness. I accepted them hook, line and sinker and in so doing, I actually often was, and felt, sunk. What I’ve come to realize along my own journey is that there isn’t always a right way to do things. How could there be? We see forward thinkers doing things that some of us can’t even imagine. We look with both awe as well as disbelief…. wondering how “they” could push the envelope so far. And if they could, why couldn’t I? Thank God for “them” – they have awoken inspiration in me. Sometimes the right way is to do the thing that doesn’t work. This has always been something I’ve admired about Henry Ford in his quest to democratize the automobile – He finally came up with the Model T, but think of all the 19 others models that didn’t work and how each and every one of those preceding models laid the ground work to the model that did. As I had coffee with my daughter yesterday she and I talked about the power of failure – and how the illusion of reality of what failure is actually hinders the power of all it can be. My daughter brought up an interview that she’d recently come acres with Sara Blankley, the woman who invented Spanx, creating a billion dollar business for herself – BILLIONS - helping women’s bums to look better. Sara attributed her success to her father and how she was raised, and how failure was redefined for her in her youth on a daily basis. Her father would ask his children every night at the dinner table, what they had been able to fail at that day. If they didn’t have an answer, he actually was a bit disappointed. She became excited when she was able to report something big that she’d failed at – her example was once after having an abominable tryout performance for the school play - she could hardly wait for dinner to arrive so she could report that she didn’t get the part. Just as she had anticipated, his face lit up with genuine excitement, followed by a big high five. As a very accomplished lawyer himself, he understood the power of continuing to try new ideas and thoughts, inspired, not dissuaded or mocked by failing. That’s not to say that he ignored or discouraged his children from success. He would give a “good job” for an A+, but not with the same level of enthusiasm, as she recalled for their “so called failures. As an anxious test taker, Sara didn’t pass the LSAT on her first attempt. She took the LSAT course and tried again, with the same result as her first attempt. As she described this to the interviewer, sometimes the universe gives you a nudge towards your purpose. This nudge deterred her from following in her father’s footsteps into the law. And that was just fine for her proud father, as well now greatly appreciated by millions of “tushies” worldwide. Sara went on to say that at the Spanx Company, there are weekly “Oops Meetings” where failures are highlighted, some even narrated and highlighted by song! Sara takes it upon herself to make the rounds in her company on a frequent basis, often asking her employees the question, “If someone hadn’t taught you to do this that way, how would you do it?” Sometimes there’s an answer right away; sometimes the question lingers and an answer follows down the line. This practice, a simple question, has brought forth new ideas and concepts for better products and production. This redefinition of failure was so inspiring to me. There’s no harm or foul – just opportunity. As I am personally making several transitions in my life, this was such a reminder for me to remember that to try, try and try again is actually a good thing because it is the act of trying that progress is made When we fail to remember this, we find ourselves stuck on one path, and one path only – and even when we are committed to the path, because it’s what we, or societal norms has deemed it as our right path, we can’t or won’t change course – even if we feel we are on a mundane treadmill of life, taking us from one day to the next to the next to the next. The movie Joe versus the Volcano comes to mind… Until we stop…. and ask, “What is it that I want?” that we can begin to know what that “is” is. As the whir of the treadmill squeaks to a halt there is a silence and a pause in which we can begin to remember that this question is ours to answer, each and every day. In the asking of the question, or in the remembering that there is a question to ask, there is a renewed energy to look for an answer – even if you don’t know what that answer is on first try. It is in the try, try and trying again that often spawns the discovery itself – and all along the way the journey is filled with possibilities – some of which you never could have thought of. As I embark with a new lease on my own surrender, I also encourage you to do the same. Let go of the confines of “what is or needs to be”. The old adage as this Life is not a Dress Rehearsal is so true. Life if happening in this moment. In the surrender of letting go of the control of the “have to’s”, a whole new world comes to light.
1 Comment
3/21/2022 05:54:51 pm
KRIS, this is an amazing article. Perfect for today...for the need to surrender to the light not the dark...
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AuthorKristyn Baker, CECP, is an intuitive energy healer and writer. Her forty years of working with energy medicine has evolved as she has expanded her own healing abilities and understandings. Combining her abilities as an Emotion Code practitioner and Simpson Protocol practioner with her intuitive insights and channeling, opens opportunities to heal and to release what no longer serves. . Archives
January 2023
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